Legacy of Oblivion

Dear Friends,

Over a year ago, I met Koryn in the Barrens. We were both soloing at the mines, watching noobs die horribly. Sharing many good laughs at other people’s misfortunes created a strong bond of friendship that we believed could never be broken. Unfortunately sometimes people and their priorities change. In fact, this is what has happened to me. Please do not cry or grieve for loss of friendship, for I am going to a much better place. While hanging out in Orgrimmar, I found a new group that I felt I could call family:

The BLACK Lotus Knights can give me all the phat lewts I can handle! Check it out – they’ll give me 6 SLOTS bag just for joining up! At least, I think that’s what is going on because if you read it carefully it looks like they’ve already given away all of the bags. Also, I’m not quite sure what a 6 SLOTS bag is, but it sounds really l33t. But if they still have some, it’s an offer I can’t refuse. All I get in LoO is grief from Zug, but phat lewts await me with the BLACK Lotus Knights, so farewell my friends! I will always remember you and the times we had. I am sorry you had to find out this way but I’m sure you understand my deciding to leave you for a l33t 6 SLOTS bag. Maybe one day you will learn to love again.

XOXO,
Sabe

Ah, the people I encounter in Orgrimmar. I like to hang out there just to see how stupid people will get in General chat. Of course, I am never disappointed. Sometimes I see things from our neighbors that I feel the need to discuss. Normally I share my deep musings with Koryn, our noble and wise guild leader. He always has sage wisdom to impart on anything I would like to talk about.

Oops, did I say noble and wise? I meant smart ass.

I wouldn’t want to join BLACK Lotus Knights anyway because they seem to be really confused about the caps lock key. Needless to say, they aren’t the only ones. It seems to be a growing epidemic within Orgrimmar. Here’s another tidbit I picked up from another guild pursuing the noble art of spamming guild advertisements into general chat in an attempt to guild the idiot masses. It looks like I pieced a couple of different conversations together, but I swear it’s the same one. I was riding through Orgrimmar on my mount when the conversation was taking place, and I had to cut out all of the chat in between. It really is the same conversation, I swear:

It’s so nice when people want to help out the tards, but unfortunately you can’t teach an old tard new tricks. Or is that dogs? Whatever.

In other news, in case anyone has not yet figured it out, every female horde member can look like a disgusting gnome in a bikini. Just jump into the nearest Wondervolt…

…and you’ll pop out looking like a gnome in a holiday bikini.

Note to lonely Blizzard programmers: This is not a sexy look. Gnomes have small, Claire Daines boobies. They are not attractive. It is not cute, nor sexy. Cover those things because no one wants to see them. Seriously. Yuk.

And now for a couple of follow up items before we cover this past weekend in Scholomance.

Shae’s turets was acting up which resulted in a new guild mantra. Only a handful of people were online when it happened, so when it gets repeated people seem confused. Luckily enough, I took a screenshot so everyone can get an idea of what we’re talking about:

I did a terrible cut and paste job putting that conversation together, sorry. If you don’t like it, you can bite me. Except Zug. He’s escalated up to “kiss my ass”. It’s like being ushered to the front of the tard line.

Speaking of Zug, in my last update I brought to everyone’s attention the strange messages he was leaving in my mailbox. We’re coming a little bit closer to discovering the meaning.

I wasn’t going to go there, but I figured sooner or later he would.

This past weekend we headed back to Scholomance, this time with nine people. NINE! Welcome Toetem to the upper 50′s – 60′s weekend raids! We had to break him in sooner or later, so at level 56 we figured what the hell – noob aggro ftw! And let me tell you, he was showing some real enthusiasm. While waiting for Iraas to show up late to the raid again like he usually does (probably because he’s spending all his time in the bathroom fixing his hair that is never going to get any better than the electrocuted look) Zug told Toetem to just run on into the instance! Before anyone could stop him, Toetem jumped through. That’s the kind of crazy we’re looking for.

Grim’s also back from internet connection hell, and it was so great to see him again.

Wait, something’s different…

Zug’s internet errors also seem to be fixed, and his crashing seems to have stopped. I am still having problems with my computer, so we touched bases to see if his solution would work for me. He is a programmer with a degree in Computer Gnomes, so he’s someone I know I can rely on for tips.

I have no idea if that will work for me, but it seemed to work for Zug because his problems have been solved. Sort of.

Shae, you’re my hero.

And of course, we never start off a night without some interesting banter about someone’s undying devotion to Iraas’ green balls.

AHAHAHAHA — Oh, sorry. I’m not very good at the “not making fun of Zug” thing, but I’ll get right on top of it. Really. I will.

Ahem.

Scholomance was fun and easy. It was also fast – I mean, we’re NINE PEOPLE in Scholomance. It was wtf-fast. I didn’t even catch all the bosses we mowed down. But I did get some pictures – hey, don’t judge me. After a year we finally have another shaman on the raid, so I took screenshots, interrupted some spells, threw down some totems and totally almost killed Caracarn a couple of times because I wasn’t paying attention.

The important thing is, I got screenshots. Here are the highlights of our trip.

This is a dude we killed:

And another dude we killed, right before Grim finished kicking his ass:

We were plowing through the zone so fast, there was no time to stop and introduce ourselves and that’s why I didn’t catch their names. I’m sure they’re lovely people. Things. Whatever.

Here’s a guy whose name I did manage to catch, because I had him targeted and his name’s right there on the screenshot. Otherwise, we killed him as quickly as the others which makes them all totally unmemorable. But don’t tell them I said that because they might feel bad.

Maybe next time I’ll be sure to target before I screenshot, but we had Toetem filling in the shaman slot beautifully, so I was useless as usual, taking screenshots. Hey, what did I say about judging me? Screenshot-taker is a very important role in this guild.

If you notice in the screenshot with Darkmaster Gandling, he’s wearing a green santa hat. I was trying to get a good shot of him, but the bastard is camera shy and banished me. That shot was the best I could get.

In the end, some nifty items were had:
Deadwalker Mantle – Grats Iraas
Necropile Robe – Grats Koryn
Iceblade Hacker – Grats me and my 6 axe skill
Major Mana Potion Recipe – Grats Toetem

And of course, grats some other things that I forgot to write down or screenshot.

The best part of all is that when Koryn looted the Necropile Robe from Darkmaster Gandling, the santa hat was sitting on the corpse, lootable. Grats Koryn on the hat!

We whipped through Scholomance so fast that it was quickly decided to head on over and do a Baron run so we could get some useless druid or paladin legs. Unfortunately at this point we lost Grim, but Xerolk logged in and for the first time, he joined us as meat shield. Welcome to the big kids’ raid, Xerolk! (I tease, but to be perfectly honest, we’ve all been tremendously excited about adding Toetem and Xerolk to the group. Welcome guys!)

While we waited for Xerolk to arrive, there was plenty to talk about.

Two words: SUCK! YOU

I apologize that I always post tidbits about Zug. I would like to clarify that it’s not some semblance of friendship – that’s wrong on so many levels. It’s just that he’s always talking, and he likes to make himself an easy target.

See what I mean? I have no freaking clue what he’s talking about here, so don’t ask. He said he would send a picture, so the best I can offer is a copy of it when it comes.

We ran through Stratholme dead side very quickly and ended up at Baron. To our delight he did not drop the druid or paladin pants, but instead dropped the rogue pants. Grats Bara on Shadowcraft Pants. And grats Cara on Robes of the Exalted which may be going the way of the disenchant button, I don’t know. Just in case I thought I’d link them. I think Xerolk also got a couple of nifty items, but in my uselessness I didn’t write them down.

All in all it was a great night. Xerolk and Toetem had a great time, and the rest of us were just happy to be able to start breaking them in. I mean, having them along. Yeah. That’s what I meant.

Ok other than that, he really did have a great time.

Of course all good things must come to an end, so after the Baron was killed we called it a night. Koryn, our taxi, gave the signal to depart.

See, the short bus goes to Orgrimmar and it’s bad. But the tard bus is for the LoOnies and it’s not so bad.

…I probably should have thought that one through a bit more.