Legacy of Oblivion

Good old Dr. Seuss made an appearance to the guild the other night, to warm up the LoOnies for the first ever Scavenger Hunt that will be taking place on January 1. So far sign ups have been low, but we are hoping for a great turnout. The group with the most points will win a pretty nice sum of money to divide amongst them, as well as some various items and enchantments. The prize winnings have all been donated by a few different members and we appreciate the contributions that have been received thus far. At this time we are still taking donations so if there is anything you would like to contribute, it would be greatly appreciated. If you’re broke, then don’t sweat it — come on out and see if you and your team can’t get lucky!

At 6:45pm CST on January 1, meet down at the Shimmering Flats! As DocSeuss, our Master of Ceremonies, has directed us, find the girl with the short pants! Thankfully this time we don’t mean me, although I do have a lot of complaints about how my pants and boots never seem to meet up at my knees. Never mind, that’s a post for another day. At 6:45, Arcadi and Caul will be splitting up everyone into groups of about 3 – 4 people. Each group must come up with their own team name. At 7:00pm CST, the Scavenger Hunt list will be posted on the site, as well as the members forum, and the games will begin!

The rules are:

1. You cannot pay people to participate in your screenshots. Do not bend the rules – this means no exchanging of items, money or services – that includes lapdances (I’m watching you, Zug).

2. Groups must stick together. If a team member goes Linkdead, the team must wait for the member to come back before pressing on. Teams may not split up to search for various items – you must stick together.

3. Zug sucks.

Other than that, I can’t think of any other rules. If any occur to me, I will be sure to shout ‘em out before we begin.

Because we are taking screenshots, all shots will be emailed to Arcadi in their original formats – Arcadi will post his email address in the members forum. Just be sure that when you send your screenshot, you say who you are and what team you’re with.

We are very excited to have DocSeuss oversee the event as our Master of Ceremonies. It wasn’t easy to get him after all, because he is quite a celebrity, not to mention the fact that he’s dead (RIP Dr. Seuss!). Everywhere he goes, fans flock to him, showering him with affection! In fact, when DocSeuss made his appearance in Durotar the other day, one fan was so excited that he was completely confused about how to react! Many dueling requests were followed with group requests, all of which had to be respectfully declined. But this hardcore fan was not going to be turned away so easily! Snubbed by his favorite author, he was not about to let our dear DocSeuss go.

LoOnies, I would like you to meet Henry.

Henry is a young troll who was confused about his love for the Great DocSeuss.

Um, excuse me? Please keep in mind that the great DocSeuss, although he is a shaman in a skirt, is a boy. Definitely. I mean, I’ve not peeked under his bottoms to check it out, but I’m pretty confident that he is a male troll, and as such, really digs lady trolls. You wouldn’t know this, but he’s a real ladies’ man. Needless to say DocSeuss was quite confused about this offer, although definitely amused.

Asssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

After my sassy comeback, I think Henry felt that I had thrown down the gauntlet — except that I don’t think he knows what a “gauntlet” is, so maybe I’ll just say “glove” or “mitten”. Oops, “mitten” has too many syllables. Let’s just stick with “glove”. Anyway, he’s not going to let this one go without a fight, since he is getting a sense that he’s being insulted.

Dude, did I not just explain to you that DocSeuss is male and wanting to shake his asssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss for you would make him gay and he likes the hot troll ladies? My suspicious are correct: Henry is not the brightest bulb in the box. Enjoying his idiocy thoroughly, I continue the conversation.

I have to admit, at this point I was desperately wishing that I was having a verbal sparring match with something a little more intelligent, such as a rock or a tree or Kevin Federline — and you have no idea how desperate you are for intelligence until you’re wishing that you were talking to Kevin Federline instead. Henry, it seems, has no creative juices for a conversation, and needs to draw inspiration from what other people say. For example, if I suddenly told him that I did not like scrambled eggs, he would come back with, “You like scrambled eggssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss” But no, I was wrong. He seemed very confused about my response.

Huh?

This conversation is going nowhere, fast. So I leave Henry to his own devices at this point. Besides, as you can see, DocSeuss is on a mission to level up and make it to the Scavenger Hunt! The guy’s a working machine, and quite franky he doesn’t have time to banter with idiots.

Aaaand we’re back to square one with the whole homosexual scenario, which isn’t going to happen because I think DocSeuss likes to cruise for the ladies. When I stop responding, Henry uses his last ditch effort to make his suave moves on DocSeuss, who just won’t fall for his masculine wiles.

Dwadd? Is that an insult, or is he trying to cyber me?

That was the last I saw of Henry, although I will always remember him. Oh wait, I’ve forgotten him already. Oh well, there’s no time to dwell anyway because DocSeuss is on a mission to bring to you the greatest Scavenger Hunt event! Time is of the essence!

Go swiftly DocSeuss, and we will see you tomorrow at the games!