Legacy of Oblivion

When you take as many screenshots as Autumnwolf and I do, you end up with all kinds of odds and ends that are truly gems, but don’t appear to really work with normal updates. In my folder o’screenshot fun, I have many screenshots that need to be shared. Therefore, I will now institute “Screenshot of the Day!” for the days that do not have full updates.

Today’s screenshot is courtesy Zug/Arachne, and an unknown noob that I created for giggles.

Enjoy!

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this news flash:

If you have not yet seen it, the music scene is buzzing with the latest amazing single from Kevin Federline, called “PopoZao”. And by “amazing”, I mean “drive a stake through your skull to make it stop”. MTV filmed Federline in his - I mean Britney’s - studio, acting like a complete idiot while playing this craptastic song. If you haven’t yet had the displeasure, head on over to The Superficial to check it out. Actually I recommend that you don’t.

Anyway, it seems that a couple of weeks ago, Conan O’Brian invited James Lipton on his show to recite the lyrics to PopoZao. It’s a huge improvement. Head on over to You Tube for hilarity.

And in Oblivion news, this morning we welcomed a special guest to our guild:

It seems that Henry had decided to send Thundrax a message. We were so excited by the contact, it deserved to be acted upon. Therefore we guilded him without delay. And as you can see, he accepted. Needless to say, we were very excited.

Unfortunately Henry would not talk to anyone in the guild, no matter how much we prompted him.

Finally, he sent me a whisper.

It’s like the Groundhog Day of conversations. I could have sworn we had gotten past this! Apparently not! But I was not going to be discouraged - I was still going to try and get him to understand his duty to us.

Needless to say, nothing was working. It almost seemed that he would not respond to anything except abuse. Finally, he responds to me.

I assure you that Henry is only level 12. Here’s the proof:

Sadly, I did not get a screenshot of the other guild window that shows titles. Henry’s guild note said “Teh Llammadwaddddddddddddd”. It brought a tear to Thundrax’s eye when he saw it.

Arcadi was still trying to encourage a conversation, but Henry was having none of it.

Still nothing from Henry. I even sent him a whisper to make sure he knew how to talk in the guild channel, but still he would not speak to us. Arcadi is a very devout follower, and was not about to give up.

At this stage in the one-sided conversation, Arcadi was feeling a bond one can only feel with Teh Llammadwaddddddddd.

Right about now, people were logging in and seeing Henry in the guild - I was getting whispers from everyone asking if it was the real Henry. Peeny was estatic!

Of course it was the one and only Henry, but because my chat window was scrolling so fast, I unfortunately reported some slightly incorrect things that Henry was saying to other guild members. It seems that Henry decided to reach out to Raste! Originally I had reported to my group that Henry had said, “Kiss my ass dyke” - but I was incorrect due to my tell hell. Fortunately for everyone, the truth is even funnier.

He must be a New Orleans survivor, and he wants us to bless the new levees being constructed.

It seems that Henry started sending his idiotic messages to random people in the guild after that, and it was quickly decided that Henry couldn’t stay.

What can one say about being so close to Henry? Only Thundrax can express it:

I thought I was done with this whole Henry business, but I think he likes the attention.

Lastly, I have a bit of interesting news that came in Friday night from our right hand. You already know the hot topics for the Oblivians: What exactly is our right hand doing? Why is their name not spelled correctly?

I have the answers for you, my friends. On Friday night I was cruising Orgrimmar. Some people cruise for the chicks - not me. I cruise for the idiots. Of course Orgrimmar idiots were ripe for the pickins that evening, but I found something even more interesting. Remember this person?

For the past couple of weeks I have thought that Oblivians have been strangely silent and unseen. But I saw Cinette shouting in Orgrimmar, and did a quick check out of curiosity. My suspicions had been confirmed.

Naturally, I just had to know what was going on with our right hands because obviously, our guild has a vested interest. I decided to investigate the matter at once.

First things first - what’s up with the new guild? How can that be so much better than being our misspelled right hand?

A “high end position”? I know that a “high position” in a guild is Veteran, Officer, Guild Leader or Tard Leader — but in this guild, a “high end position” is someone who gets to ride around on SuperHam - and trust me folks, riding around on that smelly thing is no reward.

So what happened to Oblivians? How much can you possibly get for a small guild with a misspelled guild name? And what is up with the misspelling?

15G? How in the hell can you get 15G for the Oblivians? I know for a fact that no one would take our sorry bunch for that much. In fact, Koryn would probably have to pay someone to take us.

At this point I was laughing so hard that I really couldn’t think of anything more to say, so I tried to politely end the conversation. Unfortunately for Cinette, it was right about then that he got the joke.

Yes.

He was actually a very cool guy, and after I stopped talking to him, he seemed very good natured in helping me out. Cinette actually sent some messages to the Oblivians who were online and found the new guild leader’s name: Torand. We’ll see if we can’t track him down later. Good luck to Cinette and his new guild, Citadel of Pain - it actually seems like a somewhat active guild.

Farewell Cinette, and good luck in your new guild.

That’s all for now - stay tuned for more news from Oblivion.

I don’t have much time to update tonight, but I have a few things that need to be posted because I’m getting way behind in LoO news. So, without further ado, here is your update.

Whenever I update the guild site, I usually have a hard time refraining from targeting some of the idiots around Aggramar. It’s a hard habit to break, so I’m not about to try it. At least, not until Bara forces me into a 12-step program. Until then, here’s your obligatory idiot:

The HORD Defenders - WTF, over?

And now for the news in Oblivion. A couple of weeks ago, we added another member to our ranks - welcome aboard Khabum! I wanted to say something when he was first guilded but the guy NEVER TALKS. EVER. So naturally there was nothing for me to screenshot for your pleasure. The other day he finally said something! So here you go - quick and dirty.

TWINK!

ROFLCOPTER, and so on and so forth!

And also, we have a promotion among our ranks. Congratulations, Autumnwolf!

And now a special word from guild leadership:

In raiding news, last week we had the best train EVER. I wish the picture didn’t have to be sized down so much because it kind of takes away from the effect.

Oh yeah, it killed us. It killed us SO GOOD. Was it as good for you as it was for me?

Sabe out!

It’s funny how certain things can develop a cult following. When I first reported DocSeuss’ run-in with Henry, I had no way of knowing he would become such a popular figure amongst our ranks. But the hilarity (and idiocy) of our favorite noob has won us over, and LoO is hot with the Henry fever. By now, half the guild has Henry on their friends’ list so they can monitor his every move. Whenever he logs in, it’s like a fanatic group’s religious holiday around the guild.

Thundrax is such a believer that he’s like the High Priest of Henry Llamadwaaaaaaaad!

He’ll be publishing the first Holy Book of Henry very soon.

Arcadi felt that we should probably let Henry in on our little secret. I thought he was right, so I sent him a special message.

We thought for sure Henry may welcome LoO advances if he read his story. Or maybe not.

It is a tad disappointing that after all the whispers and harrassment and stalking, Henry has kept silent. Nothing that any of us has shared with him over the past few weeks has moved Henry to respond. With nothing working, I felt it was important to bring out the big guns, the one figure that started all this in the first place, the one man who, although he wears a skirt, caused Henry a little confusion and perhaps even a stirring in his noob pants: DocSeuss.

Nothing.

Still nothing.

At this point, DocSeuss realized he needed to find Henry and remind him of why he was so drawn to DocSeuss in the first place - his amazing assssssssssss. So, our DocSeuss set off for Orgrimmar. For a moment Doc was feeling a little discouraged that Henry did not want to speak with him, but he knew just the person he could turn to in this desperate hour.

Yes, High Priest Thundrax knows just what to say to reignite the fires! It was just enough to motivate our DocSeuss onward to Orgrimmar and Henry, not to mention funny enough to get Thundrax to stalk the poor bastard.

Thund was hot on Henry’s tail, giving Doc the play-by-play action.

The moment DocSeuss reached Orgrimmar he was so excited that he shouted out for his friend.

Even Xerolk was amused at this.

But in the end, Henry would not respond to DocSeuss. In fact, I think we chased the poor fucker offline.

Well folks, there is no rekindling the fires with Henry. We will always remember Henry - the way he smiles, the way he laughs, the way he says “bullshit you”. It’s time to move on and find some new sucker we can make fun of. Therefore, this is my last update regarding Henry - unless he does something new and monumentally stupid. Oh, in my heart I believe that we have not seen the last of our beautiful Henry. But we will say goodbye for now, in the hopes that one day we will be reunited.

DocSeuss signing off.

Before we begin, I have to point out that this is not the first time Acemonkey has been featured on our front page. Once again, he proves that he is the biggest idiot in all of Aggramar.

Surgeon General’s Warning: Orgrimmar contains morons and other agents of idiocy. Exposure may cause headaches, migraines and loss of IQ. Prolonged visitation is a hazard to your health.

And now for the news in LoO:

One of the great things about World of Warcraft is that there is something for everyone - raids, soloing, pvp, and more. Whatever your potion, WoW accommodates a variety of players. Personally, I love the 5-man instances. Sure, raiding and pvp will give you phat lewts and titles, but there’s something about the challenge of a 5-man instance that appeals to me. Especially if you don’t have the “required” classes - mainly, priest and warrior. Unfortunately in the LoO camp, those two classes have have been a little more difficult to come by, so we’ve learned to make do. And you know the LoOnies are always up for a challenge.

A couple of months ago, a few of us charged into Dire Maul West. We picked up a nifty quest called “The Madness Within” and did some of it, but never finished. The quest rewards are quite nice depending on your class - you can pick one of three rewards:

Sedge Boots
Backwood Helm
Bonecrusher

For various reasons, we hadn’t gone back to finish the quest. But, last weekend we finally regrouped to go back and finish. Koryn, Shae and Bara did not keep their quest rewards, but Zug and I did.

The Backwood Helm has incredible stats and I will most likely keep this instead of doing the 60 shaman hat quest. Hooray, 12 spirit? On the other hand, the graphics look like Sasquatch took a crap on your head and then fastened the crap down with straps.

While we were out there, we also did the mage uber-water quest for Raeln and Koryn. Hooray!

And congrats Bara on Libram of Rapidity, which he was so excited about that as soon as we were out of there, he had his haste within the hour.

It was truly a bonding experience for the group. We learned a lot about each other. Maybe a little too much.

The next weekend (the other night) we went back to DM North. But how much can you really do with 1 rogue (Bara), 1 mage (Koryn), 1 hunter (Zug) and 2 shaman (Toetem and myself)? If you’re any other guild, you’d go straight to Wailing Caverns and have yourself a grand old zergy, noob time. But not the LoOnies - we’re psycho enough to do a Tribute Run.

How with no priest or warrior, you ask? I already told you - we’re crazy like that. CRAZY LIKE A FOX! Or a GROUP OF FOXES, EVEN! Which is obviously exponentially more crazy, considering that the collective crazy of the whole group, compared to the crazy of the one, puts us pretty much off the crazy chart. But I digress.

Before we entered, we were all reading up on Tribute because we had never done it before. Zug felt at ease about pulling it off, which made us naturally, quite nervous.

And there was some concern about looting - it seems that there were a couple of items that some people were not allowed to random on. We were sure it was not a bug, and instead came up with the most obvious explanation, which Koryn and I blurted out at the same time. What can I say? Great minds think alike.

After our first wipe was out of the way, the tension was broken.

We also got the best drop of the night right around the same time, as an omen of our victory.

When we figured out that there was no way to cause real damage to Zug by throwing it at him, we grew bored and moved on.

As you know, the point of the Tribute Run is to avoid the bosses. For every boss you avoid, you get an extra blue item at the end. The first boss was wandering around our area and we were hard pressed to kill things fast enough and avoid his aggro. We also did a lot of running.

When we finally got the key and moved out of the area, the next objective was to fix the broken trap.

There was also a lot of killing in between. At some point you finally get to trap the next boss on the list.

Once he is trapped, he will stay there for the rest of the instance and your party can advance.

Next up was the tannin. I didn’t take screenshots, but in officer chat, Zug was telling us all to not loot the tannin. We thought it would be funny if Toetem, our DM North first-timer, received the honor.

After we killed Gordok and had a good laugh, we ran up the ramp and Zug decided it was ok for us to take a quick bathroom break. We should have known the coast was not clear. Koryn and I go AFK and we both hear noises coming from the computer. Embarrassingly enough, it interrupted our visits to the little orc room and the little undead room.

After that little episode, Koryn and I go back to finish our business and Zug also decides to go AFK. Of course, it still wasn’t okay to leave the computer. More friends arrived and this time I died.

Almost? Suuuuure. Whatever you say, buddy. Needless to say, no one else went AFK for the rest of the night.

With that behind us, we pressed on to our goal. Blah blah blah, we killed more stuff, did this and that and finally we made it to the King.

The King stands next to a two-headed caster friend. For a normal North Run, you would kill both of them. But if you are doing Tribute, you only kill the King so that the two-headed caster friend can pay you tribute when the King is dead.

Without issue, we deaded the King…

…and received the Gordok Tribute!

All in all the phat lewts were as follows:
Kromcrush’s Breastplate — Grats disenchant!
Tarnished Elven Ring — Grats Bara!
Schematic: Major Recombobulator — Grats Zug!
Mud Stained Boots — Grats disenchant!
Scarab Plate Helm– Grats disenchant!
Grimy Metal Boots — Grats disenchant!
Bracers of Prosperity — Grats disenchant!

(I would have gotten the other links for you but Thottbot is running extremely slow and to be honest, I just don’t have the patience to fight with it.)

That’s a whole lot of disenchanting going on, but whatever. We had a great night, and an incredible success for our group. Great work everyone! With that complete, the only thing left was to run around and collect nice buffs from everyone.

Like a +200 ATK from Fengus that lasts 2 hours. It’s good to be king!

Stay tuned for more news from LoO.

Last Sunday, some of us banded together to go kill trolls in Sunken Temple. Which is an honorable pasttime, even if you are a troll! It was a fun zone, and I was never so glad to breathe the air in Ogrimmar. Ok, so I’m never glad to breathe the air in Ogrimmar. That place smells funny.

As you may remember, Zugzugdaman (aka Arachne), became lost several times when trying to navigate the very highly confusing zone of Mauradon. Well, this night began no differently….

However, Arachne quickly regained her wits (or found a really good map) and proceeded to fall through the world! Oops.

Considering those of us that remained had absolutely no clue how to get around in the zone, it is a frickin’ miracle we made it back to the zone in area to pick Arachne up. But we made it, and things began to roll much more smoothly, as illustrated below:

Considering we had recently worked our way back to the entrance, this time, we were able to find the way with our eyes closed.

Despite the comic relief provided by Ara, we were able to complete several quests, and kill some pretty interesting creatures. We killed a bunch of monsters whose names I can’t pronounce:

And got some really nice items to boot. Congrats to Thundrax on A BOW!!!!!!! Congrats to the Peen on the Nightfall Drape.

Congrats to Arcadi on the Kilt of the Atal’ai Prophet, which furthers his status as a filthy rotten twink ™.

Congrats to Ara on Rod of Corrosion and Spire of Hakkar, and to me on Windscale Sarong and Dragon’s Eye.

In other news:

And in other other news:

Congratulations to Arachne on completing the infernal quest!

Aggramar is still having a huge problem with new people and long waits. The server queue seems to have been solved, in that the solution is getting rid of the queue and making you wait for the character screen indefinitely. Nice work, geniuses!

In case you’re new to the server and are wondering whether or not Aggramar is right for you, I have compiled seven rules that all Aggramarians… or uh, Aggramarites… Aggramarans… should abide by. Consider them…

The Seven Deadly Sins of Aggramar

1. Spellcheck. Know how to spell the name of your freaking server.
   

In case you’re wondering, that isn’t it.

2. Standards. When starting a guild, set some standards for your group and stick with them. Remember, you’re setting the building blocks your guild will need to grow over the next few months. Setting high standards is important to cultivate the select group of folks who will mold your guild into uberness.

Apparently the popular thought is that anything above level 10 is somewhat l33t, so if you’re accepting level 10 then that’s being selective. Oh wait, they’d prefer characters to be above 10, but they’ll probably take whatever they can get. Never mind.

3. Guild. In the event that you are unable to get into anyone else’s guild, create your own! Be sure to give your guild a sarcastic, angry name that says, “Screw you, Aggramar! I will be an army of one!”

That’s right, because nothing says “I applied to Blackrock PvP nine times and was rejected every time” like creating your own guild of one with a sarcastic name. Chin up, loser!

4. Name. When you create your characters, keep in mind that a name is everything. Come up with a strong name that tells the server who you are!

In this gentleman’s case, “Gank” means: “My pvp strategy is ganking, and yet I’m such a loser that I’m still only a Scout!”

5. Retards. The Alliance are all retards. Play Horde.

See?

6. eBay. It is not uncommon for people to turn to eBay, to purchase pre-played, pre-geared characters. Don’t do it, and let me tell you why. eBay players can be spotted a mile away.

They think it’s cute and social to shout out questions in general chat, but it isn’t. You can be spotted a mile away. Say no to eBay.

7. Orgrimmar. People shout random things in Orgrimmar because they believe that the server cares.

We don’t.

Well there you have it folks. If you are guilty of one of the above offenses, we’ll be sending Kevin Spacey around to dispose of you. Or at the very least, send you to another server where you’ll be a little more comfortable with your own kind. You know - idiots.