Legacy of Oblivion

There’s all sorts of action going on in the guild since the group forum was added. On Thursday night, a few of us headed out to Dire Maul. With North not looking so probable, we headed East for a little demolition.

And that’s putting it mildly.

Our band of fearless butt kickers consisted of 2 hunters (Rhuinn & Thundrax), 2 shaman (Toetem and myself) and 1 rogue (Barathron). Now, you may be wondering how in the world we managed with that group make-up. Trust me folks, it’s easy when you’re as awesome as the LoOnies.

There’s a complex storyline behind the East wing with interesting quests that relate — but it’s boring and no one wants to hear about that. Let us instead discuss the things that matter, like this little shit:

As soon as you enter East, there is a little idiot off to the left hand side named Pusillin. After you talk to him, he taunts you to follow. I tried taking a few shots of him during the evening, but he runs away from you pretty fast, and all there is to catch is his backside. And that’s not an invitation, so it has to be more taunting.

To reach wherever Pusillin has run off to, you have to kill some things.

Again, for some reason I was only able to catch the backside of this tree – that is, assuming trees have butts. By now I was starting to see a pattern: Either everyone in this zone is shy or they are just really proud of their butts.

You also kill a lot of these things:

They’re flowers, so I don’t think they have butts.

This is the first trip Rhuinn, Thundrax, and Toetem have ever been on with Bara, so it took a little bit of time for them to get used to Bara’s leading methods. The old schoolers could tell a story or two about that, but in the meantime I sat back and watched them try to figure out why Bara would run to a spot and start jumping up and down like a freak. Not that I’m complaining; Zug as raid leader wasn’t exactly an upgrade. Eventually they started getting used to him.

You have no idea.

Early on in the evening, Fluffy, Rhuinn’s bear, dinged 57. Grats Fluffy! I tried getting a screenshot of Fluffy, but Rhuinn was running all over and all I could catch was a shot of bear butt. Figures – it was par for the course that evening. Grats Fluffy on 57!

Now, you are probably thinking to yourself, “Wow, that bear butt is HUGE!” And you’re right, it is.

Thundrax’s pet, Siege, also made 57. Congrats Siege’s butt!

Finally we caught up to Pusillin again, where he morphs into a larger, uglier version of himself. And then we killed him. Here a picture of his butt, super-sized:

I have no idea why the one on the left is flying through the air. Maybe he was posing for the camera. He is the only one in the zone who didn’t want to show me his butt.

Next up was Lethendris, but I forgot to take a screenshot. Sorry. Here’s another picture of a butt to tide you over:

Then we went to kill another boss. There was only one thing Rhuinn needed to know before killing him.

Unfortunately, it’s worse than that.

So far this was not sounding like much fun to anyone except for one — leave it to Toetem to find the silver lining.

I don’t know if this is a place that I would recommend you reserve for a weekend to spend with that special someone. Not unless you’re dating someone from the Adams Family. But hey, different strokes for different folks. One spacious master bedroom situated in an upper loft with a stunning view of concrete walls, complete with fireplace, king sized stone slab bed, and skulls. Rats optional.

In keeping with our theme, here is a picture of his ugly, dead butt.

Pressing on, we came to a large area with many foes surrounding a nice tree guy whom we wanted to speak with. After a lot of killing, we were finally able to speak with the tree. Unfortunately Bara started talking to the tree before I could get a screenshot, and the tree shot off like a rocket down the path. So, here’s another butt for your enjoyment.

I guess that I’m kind of in the way of the tree butt, but don’t worry because you really aren’t missing much. I’ve seen better butts in that zone.

Then things got confusing. Iraas, who must be going insane from the pvp grind, shouted out the inane rantings of a madman in guildchat.

I have no idea what in the hell he’s talking about, so here’s a picture of Erik Estrada’s butt.

It looks so firm!

After we were able to recover from that, we cruised on down to the final boss. Here’s his butt; I’ll give it an 8.9:

Our victory was near, so we rushed into the fight. The boss turns into a wolf, and you fight him. Here’s a shot of a bunch of butts together with Barathron. Wait, that didn’t come out right.

And of course, the LoOnies prevailed. Congrats Rhuinn on her new Fiendish Machete.

All in all, a successful run was had by our fearless group of five! Here are some screenshots of our victorious party:

If you’re a big pervert, you’ll be able to figure out what butts belong to which person.

And now for a PSA:

I’m mean!

That’s it for now, stay tuned for more news from the LoOnies.