Legacy of Oblivion

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you this news flash:

If you have not yet seen it, the music scene is buzzing with the latest amazing single from Kevin Federline, called “PopoZao”. And by “amazing”, I mean “drive a stake through your skull to make it stop”. MTV filmed Federline in his – I mean Britney’s – studio, acting like a complete idiot while playing this craptastic song. If you haven’t yet had the displeasure, head on over to The Superficial to check it out. Actually I recommend that you don’t.

Anyway, it seems that a couple of weeks ago, Conan O’Brian invited James Lipton on his show to recite the lyrics to PopoZao. It’s a huge improvement. Head on over to You Tube for hilarity.

And in Oblivion news, this morning we welcomed a special guest to our guild:

It seems that Henry had decided to send Thundrax a message. We were so excited by the contact, it deserved to be acted upon. Therefore we guilded him without delay. And as you can see, he accepted. Needless to say, we were very excited.

Unfortunately Henry would not talk to anyone in the guild, no matter how much we prompted him.

Finally, he sent me a whisper.

It’s like the Groundhog Day of conversations. I could have sworn we had gotten past this! Apparently not! But I was not going to be discouraged – I was still going to try and get him to understand his duty to us.

Needless to say, nothing was working. It almost seemed that he would not respond to anything except abuse. Finally, he responds to me.

I assure you that Henry is only level 12. Here’s the proof:

Sadly, I did not get a screenshot of the other guild window that shows titles. Henry’s guild note said “Teh Llammadwaddddddddddddd”. It brought a tear to Thundrax’s eye when he saw it.

Arcadi was still trying to encourage a conversation, but Henry was having none of it.

Still nothing from Henry. I even sent him a whisper to make sure he knew how to talk in the guild channel, but still he would not speak to us. Arcadi is a very devout follower, and was not about to give up.

At this stage in the one-sided conversation, Arcadi was feeling a bond one can only feel with Teh Llammadwaddddddddd.

Right about now, people were logging in and seeing Henry in the guild – I was getting whispers from everyone asking if it was the real Henry. Peeny was estatic!

Of course it was the one and only Henry, but because my chat window was scrolling so fast, I unfortunately reported some slightly incorrect things that Henry was saying to other guild members. It seems that Henry decided to reach out to Raste! Originally I had reported to my group that Henry had said, “Kiss my ass dyke” – but I was incorrect due to my tell hell. Fortunately for everyone, the truth is even funnier.

He must be a New Orleans survivor, and he wants us to bless the new levees being constructed.

It seems that Henry started sending his idiotic messages to random people in the guild after that, and it was quickly decided that Henry couldn’t stay.

What can one say about being so close to Henry? Only Thundrax can express it:

I thought I was done with this whole Henry business, but I think he likes the attention.

Lastly, I have a bit of interesting news that came in Friday night from our right hand. You already know the hot topics for the Oblivians: What exactly is our right hand doing? Why is their name not spelled correctly?

I have the answers for you, my friends. On Friday night I was cruising Orgrimmar. Some people cruise for the chicks – not me. I cruise for the idiots. Of course Orgrimmar idiots were ripe for the pickins that evening, but I found something even more interesting. Remember this person?

For the past couple of weeks I have thought that Oblivians have been strangely silent and unseen. But I saw Cinette shouting in Orgrimmar, and did a quick check out of curiosity. My suspicions had been confirmed.

Naturally, I just had to know what was going on with our right hands because obviously, our guild has a vested interest. I decided to investigate the matter at once.

First things first – what’s up with the new guild? How can that be so much better than being our misspelled right hand?

A “high end position”? I know that a “high position” in a guild is Veteran, Officer, Guild Leader or Tard Leader — but in this guild, a “high end position” is someone who gets to ride around on SuperHam – and trust me folks, riding around on that smelly thing is no reward.

So what happened to Oblivians? How much can you possibly get for a small guild with a misspelled guild name? And what is up with the misspelling?

15G? How in the hell can you get 15G for the Oblivians? I know for a fact that no one would take our sorry bunch for that much. In fact, Koryn would probably have to pay someone to take us.

At this point I was laughing so hard that I really couldn’t think of anything more to say, so I tried to politely end the conversation. Unfortunately for Cinette, it was right about then that he got the joke.

Yes.

He was actually a very cool guy, and after I stopped talking to him, he seemed very good natured in helping me out. Cinette actually sent some messages to the Oblivians who were online and found the new guild leader’s name: Torand. We’ll see if we can’t track him down later. Good luck to Cinette and his new guild, Citadel of Pain – it actually seems like a somewhat active guild.

Farewell Cinette, and good luck in your new guild.

That’s all for now – stay tuned for more news from Oblivion.