Legacy of Oblivion

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last update and many exciting things have been going on in the game. The most exciting of all is the addition of a new channel in major cities: The Guild Recruitment Channel. Oh, this thing is fucking GOLD, people. I hang out in Orgrimmar just to catch some of it.

This has been a great addition, as it’s also cut back on most advertising. Still, the addition of this channel does not mean that you won’t run into shouts in other zones. Take this shout for Hells Legend that I caught in the Barrens not too long ago:

Hells Legend! They’re reforming the end game it use to be! Also, they don’t know what an apostrophe is!

I like to create noobs every so often as a little R&R. It had been a while since I had tromped off to cow town, so I started a druid that I could play for a few levels. While I was doing all of my noob cow quests in the noob area around TB, someone started shouting for help. I’m always available to help other noobs if I am able, so I offered to help.

I’m a helpful sort. It’s unfortunate too, because I probably wouldn’t have to deal with half the noobs I’ve met if I just left things alone. I have an RL friend who just started playing WoW recently, and he’s completely clueless. I felt bad for this guy so I wanted to help him out as best I could.

Ok, I’m going in –

He said that he “got it” so I assumed (stupid me) that he knew what to do now. Apparently not because I quit talking to him and three minutes later I get another message from him:

DO U KNOW HOW TO DO IT OR NOT? What a jerk! Ok, now I’m curious to know who in the hell I’m talking to………………………….

………………..Wait for it……………………

45 Warrior of Hells Legend! Well, apparently the “reformed end game” is idiot ebayers. Good to know.

The Valentine Quests have come and gone. They were a lot of fun while they lasted, and Blizzard even ended up incorporating another race between Alliance and Horde. The Alliance probably won; I don’t know and I don’t care. I happened to check a couple of days before the event ended, and of course the Horde was dragging behind. If any disgruntled Alliance players are reading this, why don’t you go to the Aggramar boards and start another stupid “Server Pride” post about how the Horde doesn’t have enough server pride and that’s why we don’t spend our every waking moment turning in resources. In return, we’ll start one called “Get A Life Pride”, where you go outdoors and get girlfriends or something.

Truth be told, I think that the real reason we lost may have been because the Horde doesn’t have the brightest players in the bunch - it seems the Valentine Quests confused quite a few of our number.

…Ok, I am beginning to figure out why, every time I open my mouth, Zug and Caul are telling me to behave. Still, despite the occasional idiot, love was in the air.

Or not. But you know me - I’m helpful, and I’m all about helping out the unlucky in love with my fabulous advice.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t think of anything to tell Soul. He dug this hole on his own.

Good luck, babe. LOL

In Oblivion news, we’ve been raiding, grouping, killing stuff, and getting phat lewts. Grats to everyone. Most importantly, we have another promotion among our ranks. This promotion was awarded due to hard work, dedication, charisma — oh who am I kidding? You know there was a lot of butt-kissing going on.

Congrats Arcadi on his promotion to Officer - no one else was willing to give me a back wax. I mean, he has the nerves of steel that it takes to lead this guild to victory! Already he is hard at work, training our new raiding folk.

What dedication! Keep in mind that an officer also has to be able to make decisions on the fly.

“The fly” happens to be somewhere in the ballpark of a year and a half. Anyway, congrats Arcadi! We are looking forward to having you in Officer chat!

Stay tuned for more news from Oblivion.

Today’s title has been brought to you by our Tard Leader.

I have no idea either.

Now that goldspammers have become nearly extinct, a new evil has arisen……… (impending doom music here)………..

Beggars.

Okay, okay, it’s not a new evil. But it’s strange that I haven’t been pestered by beggars until just recently. Beggars are a problem that everyone can relate to - like the online social and economical problem. Let’s face facts, people: There are jobs a’plenty in the Horde, yet for some odd reason we still have beggars on the streets and they’re jobless, homeless, clueless - and they’re asking for your hard-earned cash. That’s not right.

The socially accepted norm is to tell them no or just give them the money so that they’ll shut up and go away. Well, no more! Beat them at their own game, I say!

Whenever I donate to charities IRL, I always do a background check on the organization and make sure I know where my money is going. Why should it be any different in game? I must have gone a little too far when I laughed at him, because this guy started wigging out. Judging from his response, he’s obviously going to be using the money for crack.

Whitney Houston says no to crack. Everything else is fair game though.

Here’s another one. Remember, be sure to investigate the matter completely. If you feel that you don’t get a satisfactory answer, offer up some suggestions.

If they still aren’t sure how to make some cash, Raste is more than happy to take someone under his wing to show them the ropes of pimpin’.

Never fear, ladies. If you’re looking for a way to make some cash, there’s a market out there for you, too.

Some of our own members are even guilty of begging.

He ain’t too proud to beg.

LoO has grown quite a bit over the past few weeks, as many of our newer members have reached raid level. It’s been that in-between phase where you can’t do actual raiding instances yet, but you are too big to split up into a couple of 5-man groups. So we have been going back to Strat & Scholo every single week, wondering when the time would be right to move on to UBRS. We finally told everyone that, due to our raid size, we had outgrown our usual haunts and would need to graduate to an actual raiding zone that could accommodate 15 - 20 people. But the truth is, our raiding noobs had caught on to our shenanigans.

That Courier in EPL sucks ass if you’re caught standing on the road, but it’s funny when it happens to someone else. At any rate, the LoOnies have caught on to our reindeer games and we’ve had to find new and entertaining ways to kill them. Or at least, kill Zug. And that’s pretty hard when he’s constantly in a corner somewhere, molesting his pet.

As Arachne, you pervs! Zug and the Pig? Eew. If there’s any SuperHam love going on in the world, I don’t want to know about it.

Cyber?

Anyway, Zug had us all hyped up on how difficult UBRS was, saying we would probably die horribly and not make it to Beast, so the officers have been in serious discussions about how to prep our raid force. For weeks I had been making a point to touch bases with Zug constantly, making sure his head was in the right place to lead the raid in this new difficult endeavor.

Nope. And I hate to say it, but this is the fourth time we’ve had this argument. Giadia De Laurentiis totally has Skipper boobs.

See? And the only reason you can see any kind of boobage at all is because she’s bending forward and gravity is pulling her down.

All things aside, we had one thing going for us that would mean our victory:

Iraas’ Greenballs are superior.

So we charged in. We were a little nervous, because we only had 11 people. But then Xerolk logged in and we suckered him into coming. Go us!

First up, we killed this dude:

We reached Rend and our Tard Leader had us all hyped up about a huge fight and how hard it was going to be.

It wasn’t. We decided to shout at each other instead.

Whatever you say, dressboy.

I didn’t get involved in the shouting too much, because I was with the whole Ara killing plan. In fact, I didn’t want to say this before because I didn’t want to steal Rend’s thunder, but it was actually my idea from the beginning.

We killed Rend with a yawn and moved on to Beast, whom it was assumed we could not possibly kill because he was supposed to be some sort of badass. This is a picture of him right before we wtfpwned him:

After he was dead, Zug realized that he hadn’t thought out our strategy for the rest of the zone. Oh well, Thundrax is a willing victim! Oops, I mean, participant.

And here he is, from a distance, General Drakkiwussypants:

He has all those little groups of dragonkin around him, but as we were clearing them off, we sent our sucker in for the slaughter! Er, I mean, we sent Thundrax in to expertly kite Drak around until we were ready to kill him.

Nice work, Thund. Grats Rapine on the warrior BP. There were a few other drops, but I was using Bara’s comp and I’m too lazy to go fish out all of those screenshots. No wipes, few deaths, all in all a good evening. Nice work, LoO.

Stay tuned for more updates and idiots - my pending screenshot folder is full of them.

I love Fridays. There are few things better than a Friday. Saturdays are obviously better, unless you work on Saturdays. Pie is better. Pay day is better. This is also better:

Anytime you can cause Zug to fall off a cliff is definitely better. Oh yeah, I live for those moments.

It’s been a very busy week for the LoOnies, and I apologize that I haven’t been able to update you on all the happenings. Last weekend was even more busy. Friday night there was a Tribute Run. On Saturday morning there was another Tribute Run, followed by Scholomance. On Saturday night there was a raid, and on Sunday morning there was yet another Tribute Run. That evening there was another raid. Somewhere in there people finished a lot of quests, did a few more instances, got phat lewts, and hopefully killed Zug a lot. It’s hard to get rid of him, so we just drag him all over and try to send him to his death. If you do have a serious case of “The Zuggles”, please see Dr. Autumnwolf, who is an expert on the subject:

Hopefully it will work!

In Aggramar news, the server has a radio station.

I was pretty excited about this and turned it on right away. Alas, they were playing “Runaway Train” by Soul Asylum, followed by something unintelligible by Rammstein. This is it’s what I refer to as “musical whiplash” where the songs being played just don’t make sense together. Perhaps if they tried playing songs that might be a bit more appropriate during hours when guilds normally raid together. Try mixing up some different soundtracks or something, but not Soul Asylum next to Rammstein.

In other news, various guilds are still actively recruiting by spamming general chat! This gentleman is looking for mature members in Orgrimmar, and that’s like looking for marriage material at Hooters.

Wait, did he say “mature status”? Ok, what he really means is high level characters, retarded IRL is perfectly acceptable. Shout on, noob!

In Oblivion news, the LoOnies are heading to UBRS for the first time together on Saturday night. Check the forums for details, and see an Officer or Veteran with any questions. If you are concerned about the skill level required for UBRS, please see Thundrax, whose expertise can mean the difference between winning and losing:

Also, don’t cross the streams.

And finally, a word from our esteemed Guild Leader:

Stay tuned for more news and hilarity from LoO.