Legacy of Oblivion

Good morning. And now for the news in Oblivion.

The patch is upon us. With limited numbers for higher end raiding, a lack of priestage, and UBRS restricting the number of players to 10, the tension mounts. This is just the beginning. Blizzard has been experiencing crashes and outages with loot servers and instance servers, and all sorts of other technical computer gnome difficulties. We have seen the armor quests for the .5 tier armor - and it looks like the most unfun experience we’ve faced yet. Although, in the face of adversity, there is only one thing on the minds of LoOnies everywhere:

What in the hell is going on with Toetem and his cat?

At 9:00pm every night, Toetem must AFK to brush his cat.

Oh yes, at first we thought it was all a joke! But no, it’s not. The cat must be brushed at 9:00pm every night, no matter what. No, it cannot be done at 8:30, nor at 8:45 — 9:20 is right out! The timing must be 9:00pm Central… or the cat will self-destruct!

But what will the patch do to our morale? What will this do to Caul’s sanity? Outside of the uber instances, with a year and a half of Azeroth under our belts, we have done everything, seen everything, beaten everything. It is said that when Alexander the Great saw that there were no worlds left to conquer, he wept. Will our leader suffer the same fate?

Of course not. Caul is determined to find new unclaimed territories! Nothing is too great, nothing too small!

For example, this crate in Stratholme:

The fight for the Strat Box goes on to this day, and will most likely remain contested for a long, long time. Like, a couple of weeks. Or until we find something else to stand on. Like Zug’s corpse or something.

We’re going to fight to keep the game fun and further LoO territory! But before I go, I leave you with this gem:

Keep on keepin’ on, LoOnies.

I appreciate everyone’s patience in waiting for another update! For those of you who are not members of LoO and read the site, thanks for reading and sorry we were gone for so long. What can I say, Autumnwolf and I are funny chicks! Aren’t we worth waiting for? Of course we are.

And now for your update.

What’s LoO news without checking in on Henry? Oh sure, I was going to kick the Henry habit to the curb, but we just can’t get enough. Henry has left us but we can all sleep well at night with the knowledge that he’s gone to a much better place.

Xero, you two-timing bastard! I feel so cheap!

Aggramar is still off the list for new accounts. There are, of course, ways to bypass that, and if you happen to be one of the lucky few who manage to make it on the server, there is a Welcoming Committee who will receive you.

We’re a friendly lot. And why shouldn’t we be? However, in case you aren’t deterred by the Welcoming Committee, a plethora of advertisements can direct you on your way to uberness.

The PvP scene has remained wildly popular, but because the Alliance outnumbers us about a bajillion to one and love ganking us in every lame way possible (you 12-year old gankers are so brave!), BG can get a little discouraging.

And that’s on a good day.

Speaking of Alliance, LoO apparently now has a new branch of folks who like lower case letters.

Check it out - both names are stupid! “Foreveryou”???? What does that even mean? I’ve actually come to accept the fact that most Alliance characters are named something really goofy such as “Whisperwindheartsofjoyiamsocute” and “Heartsaflutterelvishhugsandkisses” and “Gnomishshortycutebutt”. STOP ALREADY. At least go for something creative. AW just made a new shaman twink named “Totemkiss”. See, now that’s creative for a shaman, and you don’t want to punch her every time you see her. That’s not the case with “Loveymuffinpumpkinnutter”. And before you ask, unfortunately for Toetem but fortunately for AW, “totemkiss” does not mean Toetem gets kisses.

Ok, enough of that. Let’s catch up on LoO happenings.

Caul decided it was time we went to ZG.

Ah yes. Unfortunately we ended up only having 12 LoOnies, but we did fairly well. Our targets were the first two bosses. Unfortunately we lacked the manpower to kill them, but we did well and lived where most raids wipe. Discouraged? Tired? Frustrated? Skeptical? Ass still sore???? Well I’ve got news for you, Nuggets! We’re going back to ZG in a few weeks and we’re going to crush everything in our path!

On a serious note: Zug has impressed upon me the importance of having everyone at the raid. We don’t have a ton of people in our guild, so when we go we are going to need all hands on deck. Please do what you can to attend for the duration of the raid. You will be hearing from Zug & Caul in the next few weeks about another ZG run. As Arcadi puts it: More spills! More thrills! MORE LUBRICANT! So stay tuned and be there.

In LoO accomplishments, it was posted a few weeks ago that a five man group killed the Baron without a warrior or a mage. This is an outstanding achievement for our bunch, as many players believe it cannot be done without those classes. Dudes, we’re just that cool. This time we had a secret weapon that wasn’t SuperHam. It also smelled better than SuperHam:

We were all disguised as Ninjas and Pirates! Strat apparently recognizes the superiority of Ninjas and Pirates, hence our complete and utter domination. And just in case you were wondering, “complete and utter domination” includes the Baron killing you twice before you can finally kill him. But we did it, and that’s all that matters.

We also have a promotion among our ranks! Congrats to Thundrax who was recently promoted to Veteran!

But not before he was demoted to Twink. Nice burn on Zug, though!

As most LoOnies know by now, for the next couple of weeks, every Tuesday will be Two-Tribute-Tuesday. We’re going to run these suckers until we can do them with our eyes closed and one hand tied behind our backs. And of course, we want folks to get upgrades. Tribute Runs are accepting all LoOnies levels 58 - 60. While we are out on these runs, I want to give everyone the scenic tour, because (believe it or not) we actually have members that have never been on a Tribute Run. I realize that’s almost equivalent to sacrilege, so these runs should rectify that problem. Experience the Tannin. Point out where Koryn peed on his leg. Good times. We’re also trying to cram as many UBRS runs in as possible before the patch hits. There are also all kinds of other groups and happenings for all different levels (Toe’s got a upper 30’s/lower 40’s raid, I’ve got a lower 30’s raid), not to mention stuff for the 60 crew. So, check the calendar and the forums for all the latest happenings.

It’s true that it’s been a while since the site has seen an update. The officers have had bigger fish to fry lately, and when I start to get intense about serious issues, it’s hard for me to relax for just five minutes to locate my funny bone. That’s why there have been no updates from me. However, earlier today I had an epiphany. I knew that the only way I could get back to our regular scheduled program is if I wrote this post. So here I am, and here you are.

By now, you’ve seen the notes for the upcoming patch. If you haven’t, Thundrax posted them in the general forum. As soon as I read the instance changes, I knew Caul was going to be upset - and rightfully so. If there’s one thing that Caul has never backed down on, it is making sure no one in this guild is excluded. If anyone had to ask me what the one principle rule in this guild is, I’d have to say it’s that we don’t leave people out. It’s the backbone of who we are, so Caul is rightfully unyielding when it comes to this. So, instead of pushing us to do 5-man or 10-man runs, we’ve visited and revisited the same places again and again so that everyone can raid together. This is good and bad. Sometimes we feel that this has hurt our skill level, because ten people in Strat and Scholo isn’t going to hone anyone’s skill. Some say we’re practically sleepwalking through these zones. On the other hand, it’s a hell of a lot better option than leaving people out.

So, our skill level has suffered somewhat. Yes, we’ve accomplished a lot and have a lot to be proud of. As I said in the guild forum a couple of weeks ago, we have proven that Tributes can be run without tanks and priests, DM West can be run without a tank, and the Baron can be killed by a 5-man group without mage and warrior. That’s admirable. In UBRS, we’ve done relatively well each time we’ve visited - I can’t say flawless, because it is here that we begin to see where we need to tighten up. In ZG, we did well where other raids wiped. But we are not yet where we need to be. Some things are still lacking, and there is room for everyone to improve. Many say the upcoming patch will hurt us.

I say it will help us.

Going forward, it is time for everyone to rethink the way we play. It is time to reinvent ourselves and our classes. We can no longer PvE the way we PvP, and we can no longer PvP the way we PvE. We all have to challenge ourselves and push ourselves to figure out what makes a stronger, sleeker, more efficient machine for the future, because LoO is moving forward, and we will not let a bump in the road set us back. We can no longer afford to jump into a group thinking we are playing the right way - we must push ourselves to be better, think faster, know more.

We begin our training in the way of Tribute Runs on Tuesday - five man runs challenge us, and force us to be better. I will be scheduling Two-Tribute-Tuesdays for the next couple of weeks. Remember: If your group is dying a lot - something is wrong. If a particular person in your group is dying a lot - something is wrong.

Just think, if this is what we can do when we’re sleepwalking, just imagine what we can do when we’re awake.

We’ll be back soon with gags and hilarity - and a little more. Rapine is quite the artist, and he has offered to start drawing up some comics for the site. I think you’re going to like what he has to offer… so stay tuned.