Legacy of Oblivion

Like most players, I looked forward to the Burning Crusade expansion with great anticipation. New lands to explore! New quests! New races! New professions! New levels! It was to be Paradise in a jewel case. And, in many respects, it was.

I created a noob and she was good. I endured the jostling throngs of level-thirsty questers to gain my first views of Silvermoon and its majestic scenery.

I stood upon the threshold of a new world of opportunity and reveled in the possibilities. Adventure! Excitement!

This guy.

He was only one of many players. I felt certain that he was not an ill omen. At least until I turned on the General Chat channel.

Dayum? Okay. Apparently, reading the quest text was not an option. Asking your guild mates questions in Guild Chat or using the handy-dandy ALT-TAB keys to check Thottbot were not options. Asking questions in General Chat about every step of every quest in every zone was to be the rule, here. I learned my lesson. Goodbye, General Chat! On to adventure!

And on to these guys… Bloodelfgaa and his best bud, Bloodelfgay. Not that it wasn’t lovely of them to want to include me in their… “revelry.” Everyone likes to feel needed. Still, some things are best kept private. “Revelry” is one of them. The Blood Elf Male dance is another. And that laugh! It’s enough to unsettle the most settled somebody.

At this point, I started thinking that my little noob priestess’ red hair was generating some sort of freak-toon attractant. There were a lot of little redheads running around and I wondered if things like this were happening to all of them or if I was an unwitting pawn in some unhinged game developer’s secret psychology experiment. I decided that a break might be in order.

I returned to playing my main Horde character. So she’s dead. So she loses her kneecaps on occasion and she laughs like a wicked witch with emphysema. She can blast the bellybutton right off of an ogre and, when she lets loose with the big fire, she usually ends up standing in a ring of smoking carcasses. The only parties she gets invited to involve a lot of thorny battles and a little dancing while the casters catch their breath. She might get asked for ports, but nobody asks for her phone number. And that’s the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it! (K.C. and the Sunshine Band)

I love the expansion. When I get the chance to play, I have trouble logging out when it’s time to stop. One of these days, I’ll get back to my poor, neglected, shell-shocked priestess and hope that the thrill of the seeing the beautiful Blood Elves has faded from the general population. Initially, I wasn’t looking forward to having a Technicolor chicken mount, but now I think that looking goofy might suit me just fine.