Legacy of Oblivion

Since the expansion, things in WoW just haven’t been the same. We’ve tried to roll with the punches — to evolve, as it were, and yet somehow it is as if something is lacking. I know you feel it. I feel it, too.

It’s all right, my people. Henry may be gone, but we have a new retard for you!

So, last night, AW, Arcadi and I are playing our noobs, killing murlocs, minding our own business. Arcadi sees a chest. He was very excited. What can I say, Arcadi likes chests.

Anyway.

So we clear the little area around the chest and, wouldn’t you know, Bloodsoldier takes our chest! And everyone knows you don’t come between Arcadi and his chest. (Sorry, AW – I couldn’t resist.) After that, he must have asked Arcadi to group or duel or dance or for a kiss – Arc was playing a female blood elf, after all. I’m not sure what exactly Bloodsoldier wanted, but Arcadi wasn’t feeling very amicable.

Uh oh, now we made Bloodsoldier MAD!

So we finish our quests and head back to the NPC. Guess who was waiting for us? Bloodsoldier! Oh, we were so happy to be reunited once again!

He was thrilled to see us.

Unfortunately AW got a little mixed up when she tried to add him to her friends list.

That’s when the conversation really got going!

Apparently I am nine years old. He can refer to others as “bitch faces,” but I am a nine year old. I didn’t respond further, and it was obvious that it hurt his feelings so he tried to make up — by giving me this window about 2983472938473 times:

When I kept refusing his requests (which obviously were his way of asking me to have his love children) he tried to make me jealous by pursuing someone else.

Probably a bad move, considering he is level 9. He would have been better off talking to AW, who still had him on ignore. I knew he was just trying to get my attention so I didn’t say anything. I did add him to my friends list, though – right where Henry used to be. Sadly, after he lost that embarrassing duel, he logged out.

It’s ok, I’ve got him on my friends list. Fellow LoOnies and friends of LoOnies, he can be on your friends list, too. I didn’t know if we would quite recover from the emptiness we felt when Bloodsoldier left us, but somehow we did. It took us a really long time to forget him – about 0.01 seconds when our attention was called away by something really important:

Moving along, do you remember that embarrassing defeat back in ZG so long ago? Of course you do. Well recently, we went back to kick some ass.

That’s right, we went back and made some bosses our bitches. Do you know why we were so successful this time around? No, this time we didn’t even have to disguise ourselves as pirates and ninjas. Our secret:

No Zug.

And rock, we did. We rocked slower than hell, but hey, at least we rocked. Bosses died, and many evil plans were thwarted.

There was also something about a peanut.

Of course he didn’t give her any liquor – he drank it all.

At any rate, nice work LoOnies.

And before I let you go, like The Daily Show’s “moment of zen,” here’s your “moment of Zug”:

Stay tuned for more updates, which I promise are forthcoming. By the way, I hope you like the new site. At the bottom of each post is a link for comments, if you care to leave one, otherwise you can post on the forums.