Legacy of Oblivion

It’s hard being a part of a smaller guild like LoO. We can’t do uber raids or dominate a battleground as a premade, so looking upon our members isn’t as awe inspiring as some of the larger raiding guilds out there. When it comes to uberness, we don’t even know where to start!

Well, have no fear, fellow LoOnies. Kamacazi is here to school us in how to be uber and irritate the crap out of everyone on flaunt it all over the server!

We met him in Shattrath and, needless to say, Arachne was drawn to him like a moth to a flame!

Here’s how to get your uberness on, my peeps.

Step 1. Get on your dragon mount and stand over the NPC’s – it’s the only way everyone’s going to know your awesomeness. While you’re at it, take a break and go afk. Being uber is exhausting and will require snack breaks.

Step 2. Ability to properly use the english language is completely optional. When you’re uber, words are not necessary.

Step 3. Establish the hierarchy. Anyone who isn’t uber needs to know their place in the social system of real life WoW. Don’t be afraid to point it out.

Step 4. Don’t ever apologize for your awesomeness, for your bad-assedness is not an easy thing to explain. After all, we’ve already determined that uberness does not automatically conclude that you are a master at verbal and written communication so why try? Also, the little people will never have what it takes to reach the height of accomplishment that you have.

Step 5. When words completely fail you, inform everyone of the size of your phallus by separating yourself from those who are beneath you in the most demeaning way you can think of. It’s okay that you aren’t high on wit; you are high on awesomeness and that is what matters.

Step 6. Those who continue to oppose you should not be dealt with in effective ways, but should be annoyed as much as possible! Try standing over the NPC they are looking for! That’ll show ‘em!

Unfortunately it looks like his dragon mount is crapping Wolf-Sister Maka out. Also, Arachne and I had already queued for a BG. In fact, by this time Ara had gone into a bg, and I was just waiting to get in. Maybe next time, Kamacazi.

As you probably guessed, I put Kamacazi on my friends list and monitored what he did, because I’m curious to know how someone can be the best ever at WoW. After a couple weeks of monitoring his every movement, I have learned the secrets to becoming awesome at World of Warcraft. I knew that if we could do the same things that he does, we will be the best WoW players ever. My research is complete, and now, I will share the secrets with you.

This is Kamacazi two days later…

Apparently, being awesome means sitting AFK in Orgrimmar for hours on end. I kept watching him. That’s all he did.

In fact, that’s all he did for the next couple of weeks that I watched him.

Here’s four days later:

Five days:

Eight days:

Eleven days later:

Fourteen days:

Fifteen days later:

His AFK flag wasn’t on, but I’m fairly certain he was nowhere near his keyboard because this is the day he met Matelda.

Mat’s whining and berating went on for much longer than what you see here, and Kamacazi never responded. This is either because he was AFK without his flag on, or because he was adhering to Rule of Uberness #5.

I’m actually disappointed that this guy is in Fae Victus, because I’ve been in bgs with some of them before, and they’re great to be in a bg with.

Now you know how to be uber. Go forth with this knowledge, LoOnies, and good luck!

Before we begin, let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way:

No.

As LoO continues to plow through the list of heroics and work on our pvp gear, things are going well and I’m tremendously proud of our achievements. To date, we have beaten every heroic that has been scheduled in the last couple of months. It hasn’t been easy, but hey, we’re LoO. When we see a walkthrough that tells us to avoid certain bosses, we ignore it and charge ahead into glory.

It was then we realized Iraas looked kind of comfy down there… with a big black ball on top of his face. As you can see from the sparkles, Iraas is still tingling with excitement from the encounter…

…but not in a healthy way. We quickly went to work correcting this behavior.

Still, we were so excited about our accomplishment that we set out to tell everyone who logged in thereafter.

Unfortunately, Matelda took offense to our maligning of the balls. Seeing his opportunity to escape emasculation, Iraas used this distraction to distance himself from any teabagging or ball conversation thereafter.

I’m still not buying it.

In other news, AW also finished her epic flight form with a flawless victory! This, of course, happened a couple of months ago but I’m a slacker so you’re only seeing screenshots now. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to capture a great deal of screenshots of the fight because it’s an incredibly complicated procedure.

Here’s how it’s done, LoO-style.

There’s this thingy:

Put the orb in the thingy:

Get ‘em.

Congratulations, AW!

We’re going to continue this path of heroics, farming badges, and working on becoming the leanest and meanest versions of ourselves that we can possibly be. This means gear upgrades, tighter strategies, phatter lewts, more nerdery – that is, unless Arcadi has anything to say about it.

On the PvP front, things are still going strong with arena groups popping up. It’s just one more frontier we are fearlessly advancing into!

Well, most of us are fearless… I know. I keep using that word.

Unavailable for comment.

We’re also still hanging out in the battlegrounds.

By now we’ve learned the ropes. After serving hard time at AV choke, the Alliance has changed to a new strategy and Vindication Battlegroup is, once again, a great big fail fest.

Knowing it will take the Horde another year to figure out how to win AV again, we have been spending our time taking advantage of the rocket scientists we’re forced to fight alongside. I know this isn’t fair to say because not everyone who spends their time in a bg is a frothing-at-the-mouth imbecile. Many skilled players exist to help us by informing us of not just the right strategies, but the positive attitude it takes to win.

Then there’s Arachne.

Not even promises of making the front page can stop the caustic wit that is Arachne! Amongst the dim bulbs of the light box he shines brightest, like a beacon in the night!

Hey, everyone has to cope with this clusterf*ck somehow. Some of us use it as a means to pick on the idiots, others try to come up with a strategy that keeps our dignity in tact.

And in case you’re wondering, the dignity thing isn’t working.

And when that doesn’t work, blame it on other LoOnies.

Whatever you do, don’t let the jerks get you down.

And now, for your moment of Zug: