Legacy of Oblivion

Last Wednesday, without fear or trepidation, we returned to The Argent Blade.

Hrm.

Immediately we slipped back into the characters that had been neglected for over a year. After reading up on our respective classes and refreshing our memories, we went to work. Most of us knew what to do, but Thundrax was a little confused.

The Adventures of the Spirit Warrior, coming to the SciFi channel this fall. Kind of like Kung Fu, but the main character is sort of retarded.

Speaking of retards, we met one.

Rainard, Velorum and I (translation: Soulnecrous, Barathron and I) were hanging out in Un’Goro trying to finish up some quests. We were cruising through Terror Run killing everything we could find. At one point, Bara asked me to switch toons with him, probably because he was tired of nearly killing himself from all of the nuking aggro. I obliged, playing Velorum, while he played Xadi. Unfortunately, Bara has his general chat turned off and I had no idea that someone was shouting to the zone about the devilsaurs.

Volcon’s really got a thing for the devilsaurs. He believes they belong to him. Some would say it’s an unnatural love. He was apparently shouting in General chat where they were and if anyone had seen them. This went on for a while, and his love went unrequited.

Then he found the corpses we were leaving behind.

This led to some unhealthy shouting in General chat (which I missed, sorry) about how they were HIS devilsaurs, and he wanted to know who was killing them. When he found us… well, you know I couldn’t help but mess with him. One comment from me was all it took to send Volcon into a raving, slobbery mess.

After that, it was a battle of wits: Rainard (aka Soulnecrous) vs. Volcon (aka Retarded Devilsaur Humper)

Here is the transcript of the battle. He followed us half way across the zone just to get mocked by Soulnecrous.  I’ve seen this before and, believe me, it’s never pretty once Soulnecrous has determined your level of retardation.  The level was high, people.

Winner (by a landslide): Rainard aka Soulnecrous

The reason for Soul’s complete and utter domination is due to this: No white Canadian should be able to seriously call someone “bra” and use the phrase “mad benjamins” without being laughed at.

Overall, Wednesday night went well. I get the idea that everyone needs a change of scenery after all of the PvP we’ve been doing, so we’ll continue to make Wednesday nights the official TAB nights, although it seems that this is where most are spending their time anyway.

Please note that FNF will still be a LoO event, because it is important that we continue to get through the list of instances that need to be conquered. Sunday nights will also continue to be LoO SNAW nights, although I am thinking about alternating SNAW and TAB every other week. Although it seems that right now we’re swinging heavily to Alliance, please keep in mind that our primary home is Horde. I am not making plans to switch solely to TAB.

And now for your Moment of Zug, a continuation of a previous Moment:

It’s hard being a part of a smaller guild like LoO. We can’t do uber raids or dominate a battleground as a premade, so looking upon our members isn’t as awe inspiring as some of the larger raiding guilds out there. When it comes to uberness, we don’t even know where to start!

Well, have no fear, fellow LoOnies. Kamacazi is here to school us in how to be uber and irritate the crap out of everyone on flaunt it all over the server!

We met him in Shattrath and, needless to say, Arachne was drawn to him like a moth to a flame!

Here’s how to get your uberness on, my peeps.

Step 1. Get on your dragon mount and stand over the NPC’s - it’s the only way everyone’s going to know your awesomeness. While you’re at it, take a break and go afk. Being uber is exhausting and will require snack breaks.

Step 2. Ability to properly use the english language is completely optional. When you’re uber, words are not necessary.

Step 3. Establish the hierarchy. Anyone who isn’t uber needs to know their place in the social system of real life WoW. Don’t be afraid to point it out.

Step 4. Don’t ever apologize for your awesomeness, for your bad-assedness is not an easy thing to explain. After all, we’ve already determined that uberness does not automatically conclude that you are a master at verbal and written communication so why try? Also, the little people will never have what it takes to reach the height of accomplishment that you have.

Step 5. When words completely fail you, inform everyone of the size of your phallus by separating yourself from those who are beneath you in the most demeaning way you can think of. It’s okay that you aren’t high on wit; you are high on awesomeness and that is what matters.

Step 6. Those who continue to oppose you should not be dealt with in effective ways, but should be annoyed as much as possible! Try standing over the NPC they are looking for! That’ll show ‘em!

Unfortunately it looks like his dragon mount is crapping Wolf-Sister Maka out. Also, Arachne and I had already queued for a BG. In fact, by this time Ara had gone into a bg, and I was just waiting to get in. Maybe next time, Kamacazi.

As you probably guessed, I put Kamacazi on my friends list and monitored what he did, because I’m curious to know how someone can be the best ever at WoW. After a couple weeks of monitoring his every movement, I have learned the secrets to becoming awesome at World of Warcraft. I knew that if we could do the same things that he does, we will be the best WoW players ever. My research is complete, and now, I will share the secrets with you.

This is Kamacazi two days later…

Apparently, being awesome means sitting AFK in Orgrimmar for hours on end. I kept watching him. That’s all he did.

In fact, that’s all he did for the next couple of weeks that I watched him.

Here’s four days later:

Five days:

Eight days:

Eleven days later:

Fourteen days:

Fifteen days later:

His AFK flag wasn’t on, but I’m fairly certain he was nowhere near his keyboard because this is the day he met Matelda.

Mat’s whining and berating went on for much longer than what you see here, and Kamacazi never responded. This is either because he was AFK without his flag on, or because he was adhering to Rule of Uberness #5.

I’m actually disappointed that this guy is in Fae Victus, because I’ve been in bgs with some of them before, and they’re great to be in a bg with.

Now you know how to be uber. Go forth with this knowledge, LoOnies, and good luck!

Before we begin, let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way:

No.

As LoO continues to plow through the list of heroics and work on our pvp gear, things are going well and I’m tremendously proud of our achievements. To date, we have beaten every heroic that has been scheduled in the last couple of months. It hasn’t been easy, but hey, we’re LoO. When we see a walkthrough that tells us to avoid certain bosses, we ignore it and charge ahead into glory.

It was then we realized Iraas looked kind of comfy down there… with a big black ball on top of his face. As you can see from the sparkles, Iraas is still tingling with excitement from the encounter…

…but not in a healthy way. We quickly went to work correcting this behavior.

Still, we were so excited about our accomplishment that we set out to tell everyone who logged in thereafter.

Unfortunately, Matelda took offense to our maligning of the balls. Seeing his opportunity to escape emasculation, Iraas used this distraction to distance himself from any teabagging or ball conversation thereafter.

I’m still not buying it.

In other news, AW also finished her epic flight form with a flawless victory! This, of course, happened a couple of months ago but I’m a slacker so you’re only seeing screenshots now. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to capture a great deal of screenshots of the fight because it’s an incredibly complicated procedure.

Here’s how it’s done, LoO-style.

There’s this thingy:

Put the orb in the thingy:

Get ‘em.

Congratulations, AW!

We’re going to continue this path of heroics, farming badges, and working on becoming the leanest and meanest versions of ourselves that we can possibly be. This means gear upgrades, tighter strategies, phatter lewts, more nerdery - that is, unless Arcadi has anything to say about it.

On the PvP front, things are still going strong with arena groups popping up. It’s just one more frontier we are fearlessly advancing into!

Well, most of us are fearless… I know. I keep using that word.

Unavailable for comment.

We’re also still hanging out in the battlegrounds.

By now we’ve learned the ropes. After serving hard time at AV choke, the Alliance has changed to a new strategy and Vindication Battlegroup is, once again, a great big fail fest.

Knowing it will take the Horde another year to figure out how to win AV again, we have been spending our time taking advantage of the rocket scientists we’re forced to fight alongside. I know this isn’t fair to say because not everyone who spends their time in a bg is a frothing-at-the-mouth imbecile. Many skilled players exist to help us by informing us of not just the right strategies, but the positive attitude it takes to win.

Then there’s Arachne.

Not even promises of making the front page can stop the caustic wit that is Arachne! Amongst the dim bulbs of the light box he shines brightest, like a beacon in the night!

Hey, everyone has to cope with this clusterf*ck somehow. Some of us use it as a means to pick on the idiots, others try to come up with a strategy that keeps our dignity in tact.

And in case you’re wondering, the dignity thing isn’t working.

And when that doesn’t work, blame it on other LoOnies.

Whatever you do, don’t let the jerks get you down.

And now, for your moment of Zug:

Ahh, Summertime. The long hot days of summer where air conditioning is an imperative, picnics are commonplace, and everywhere you see buff bronze bodies exhibiting the results from tireless hours spent in the gym to get the perfect look.

Or in our case, you see Curil.

We here at LoO would like to remind you to be careful before fall arrives. Please be sure that if you must be outside in the heat, be sure to drink plenty of liquids.

Of course, the management doesn’t recommend drinking anything that Matelda gives you. Ever.

As tends to happen during this time of year, someone you know may venture forth from their place of residence to embark upon something known as a “vacation”. When this happens, they may ask that you watch over their precious belongings to make sure no harm comes to them. If you are ever asked to do this, it is a great responsibility and care must be taken so that nothing is out of place when the homeowners return.

Be sure that if you must bring items into the home, be sure to clean up after yourself and not leave any trash behind for the owners to have to pick up when they return. They will be returning with many piles of dirty laundry and purchased items, and any work you do not leave for them will be appreciated!

As homeowners may treasure their furniture (some of which may be priceless antiques), be sure to take care if you must move something in the house. Attention to detail is always important!

Of course, if your neighbors own animals, additional complexity is thrown into the mix. You must spend valuable time befriending the animals to ensure them you do not mean any harm.

As always, when housesitting, be sure to ask advice from those you know as respectable individuals. This will ensure that you have happy homeowners upon their return, and will earn their trust and respect.

Of course, during a Loony summertime, love may flare….

Or tempers may flare….

But if you keep your cool, you will be able to survive yet another Loony summer. And who knows, you may just survive without Zug training you.

Or not.

And now, your moment with Zug.

I’ve been doing some general investigation of websites kept by other Aggramar guilds. The uber guilds follow an interesting trend - all their websites seem to do is keep a running tally of their awesome exploits right on the front page. One short blurb accompanies the picture of Dead_Uber_Mob to congratulate every awesome uber person in their uber guild of an uber job well done,with promises to keep the uber lewts flowing. Their websites are sparce and utilitarian; their message boards eerily silent, save for the unguilded masses who wish to join their ranks. These guilds don’t need message boards - their uber trophies posted on the front page tell a person all they need to know about the guild: They are all bad motherfuckers, and not to be trifled with.

We are not one of those guilds.

We don’t mean to be misleading or confusing - although it’s hard to know our many amazing in-game exploits, since they are rarely boasted posted. If you have come to this website looking for more information on all of the many awesome things Legacy of Oblivion has accomplished, this post has been created just for you.

I now bring you the many amazing exploits of Legacy of Oblivion.

/cue dramatic music

Legacy of Oblivion has embraced TBC, venturing forth into the new lands to kick ass and take names.

Were I to post every picture of every uber thing we have killed in the past few months, the post would go on and on forever. So here are some pics Autumnwolf emailed me because I’m a slacker who hasn’t been screenshotting anything highlights.

Aeonus was overwhelmed by the might of Legacy of Oblivion in an instance where the walkthru claimed it was going to be so hard we’d be crying for our mommies, omg!

It wasn’t.

After we found many of the TBC bosses to be lacking in difficulty, we set our sights on some of the horrors that plague our server.

This particular kill would never have happened without some of the most amazing teamwork in the game. Follow this play-by-play action to discover our secrets of killing one of the most terrifying creatures in all of Aggramar:

I wasn’t about to let this offer get away.

Now, visitor, I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced the bond of true friendship so let me tell you a little secret: A true friend accepts your cold, hard cash and kills someone for your enjoyment.

Arcadi is what I call a true friend, and a stand-up kind of guy. We did have some difficulties, though.

But we were determined.

Congrats to us on a very successful kill. If you are looking for this kind of teamwork and friendship, Legacy of Oblivion is the guild for you.

Next up on our trophy wall: Matelda’s Dignity.

Matelda’s Dignity wasn’t so much a guild event as it has been everyone taking a turn soloing it every night. It respawns after a few minutes or so, and this way everyone’s been able to go at it. No loot, but plenty of personal satisfaction. Congrats everyone on a job well done!

Next up on our wall of fame: RIP Good Taste

This was actually a very sad day, and we’re currently looking for anyone who can give good taste a rez.

But don’t despair - when LoO gets together, there’s entertainment a’plenty!

If there’s one message I would have you take away from this post, it would be this: Our guild is about teamwork and friendship. When we come together to pwn, we drop everything to help each other out.

Almost.

Otherwise, we are committed to be friends from now until the end of time.

And by “end of time,” we mean “until you start getting that weird nervous tick.”

Join now, and many amazing perks will become available to you, including great deals from Thundrax in the Auction House –

You’ll buy his stuff or else.

To join, you need not have any special gear, or any set talent build that we command. Just come as you are, and bring your own brush.

He’s kidding. He could use a good brushing.

What else do you have to lose? Join LoO today and those pesky PUGS can stop getting you down.

I know you’re asking yourself: How in the world do I get in on this amazing offer? Why, it’s simple! Speak with our guild leader. You can tell he’s the leader of this elite crew by the awesome gear he’s sporting.

And he’s not leering at you as if he’s ready to steal your soul, he’s just friendly. The horns mean nothing.

The belt might, though.

And now for your moment of Zug:

Special thanks to AW for the extra screenshots.

In the Legacy of Oblivion circle, emotions are confusing intangibles. One sense can easily be mistaken for another.

Like deciphering General Chat in XR, the ability to discern between love and poop remains an elusive skill. Mixed messages exist only to confuse us.

This epistle is not to chide you, dear friends, rather it is for help that I write so I might provide the knowledge you need to protect yourselves.

Of poop, we already know the characteristics: it has a distinct odor and requires a thorough hand washing after the evacuation process. However, do not be mislead! This does not distinguish between poo and amour as both may result in a good hand washing.

The example listed above is single-player mode. I trust you know what to do in this format. Of this, some of us seem to be rather adept and are always on the lookout for hacks, cheats, walkthroughs, and visuals.

No real danger exists here, unless someone tries to turn what is clearly a single-player encounter into a two-player encounter - beware of becoming the unwilling participant!

Incidents such as these are what I wish to warn you of, and perhaps even arm you with the means to defend yourselves when you do not return their affection. Do not turn a single-player encounter into a two-player encounter!

They may try to convince you through suggestive means.

They may resort to begging.

They may try to lure you by using affectionate nicknames.

Like Koryn, they may even solicit.

He could teach you, but he’d have to charge.

When you become a tasty looking morsel, you must protect yourself, dear friends –

– for you do not know what terrible things lay in store for you in the morning. Although you think you return what might be feelings of love, they may only lead to poo - or worse.

This, my fellow LoOnies, is the heart of the matter.

Terrible things can happen when you hook up with strange elves - as Arachne has discovered.

That’s right. Some night elf hunter named Busterwolf gave Ara teh herpes! The most despicable aspect of the matter is that, according to this elf’s guild site, Pactum Fides, their guild name means “Honorable Pact” or “pact between honorable people.” To be perfectly frank, I’m not sure how honorable a person can possibly be when they go around giving innocent undeads a raging case of herpes! Not that Ara’s decomposing body was so enticing before.

Guard yourselves, LoOnies. And when all else may fail, say no.

Especially to Arachne, because you do NOT want to catch her raging case of herpes.

With that, welcome to the guild Delinia, and welcome back Xerolk and Shae!

And now, for your moment of Zug.

Special thanks to AW and Koryn for the extra screenshots!

Since making friends with Bloodsoldier, we have been watching for him, waiting for him, pining for his presence.

Don’t we all?

While we hold vigil, there is another friend that we should get to know: Soina. Unable to ignore her cries for help, Koryn was immediately intrigued by this poor girl’s plight.

What kind of a cold, cruel world do we live in where noobs are borke?

Will that require corrective surgery?

I’m signing up since Soina is the olny one for me. Weird; all this time I have been saving myself for Bloodsoldier. I thought we had something real. I thought I was his bitch face.

Bastard.

If you haven’t yet noticed, the guild calendar has changed. We have moved on to a new and improved Google Calendar, and you can find the link at the top of this page. Inside each appointment is the link to the forum thread where you can sign up, and I’ll try to add Library links in case anyone needs to find Thundrax’s leet strategies for the specific zone.

Also, don’t forget your savory deviate delights.

Of course he does!

The times are listed in the calendar and also in the thread if you need them. Please plan accordingly so you can be on time.

Yes, it actually was Luke and Obi-Wan getting up a ledge. For the record, I figured it out on my own, and I didn’t even need a bantha to get it done.

Now follow this next screenshot carefully. My favorite part about it is that it is that Arcadi is being discreet, Zug takes it one step further, and of course Iraas is more than happy to come right out and say it. It’s like the varying degrees of our guild’s depravity in a perfect sequence.

More Iraas on the subject:

He’s so discreet.

We’ve had instance runs nearly every night, but that hasn’t stopped our noobage. The twink population in the guild has grown tremendously, and we didn’t even give them water or feed them after midnight.

It’s astounding every night. Give in, people. Give in to your inner-noob.

I think AW is implying we are the stupid name brigade. Before we get offended, take solace in knowing that at least we aren’t these guys:

You could join them and be a part of the best pvp guild on their server, but the downside is that you’d have to switch to the aggramer server and you would have to be shaped like { or ] in order to be accepted into their ranks.

What about these guys:

Hell yes! Judging by the name, you either have to be a blood elf or a bloody idiot to join.

If you aren’t either of those, consider staying close to home. A new branch of Oblivion has emerged. No other branch of Oblivion has been able to stick it out for very long, so let’s see if these jokers can.

Ssbloodelf. Dude, I would be ashamed to have that name. Anyone who intentionally comes up with such idiotic names should be face public ridicule.

Anyway, apparently these dudes crusade in the oblivion, or possibly even against the oblivion, in which case we should drop Zug into their secret base and wipe them all out with his awesome smell.

With so many tempting offers, how is it possible that we choose to stay together? Because of the strong bond we have cultivated over the last few years. Do you feel it as I do?

It is strong with us, and we are there for each other as friends should be.

Except for Zug, who sucks. Here’s your Zug Moment:

Sucka. Stay tuned for more updates. Thanks again to AW, Koryn and Zug for extra screenshots.